Your parents are getting older and its time to start considering what they are going to be doing for long term care. Currently, about 61% of Americans have not yet talked to their parents about the possibility of them needing long-term care.
The attitude among adults is the ones that have had this talk, only 40% of them are suggesting the options of health care at home, nursing homes and assisted living according to a survey by Harris Interactive known as “Getting Our Parents Ready for Long-Term Care.” This means that over half of adults are going to need long term care someday are not discussing it with their adult children.
How to talk to parents
What most adult children think is that sitting down with their parents has to be a scary thing. They think it has to be a long conversation where they’ve prepared a speech. In reality, it can be mentioned very casually when the moment is right and brought up in a sensitive and loving manner. The worst thing adult children can do is wait for the perfect moment and while they are waiting, an emergency comes up.
If you don’t have the opportunity to bring it up, while alone with your parents, you could get the family together for a meeting. Meet with the family to discuss questions and concerns that you might be having such as:
- Who should lead the conversation with mom and dad?
- What are we trying to accomplish?
- What are we prepared to do and what are we unable to do?
Another way to talk to your parents is when a situation comes up in which you have an opportunity to suggest long term care. For example, if you parent complains of dizziness, you could ask “when is the last time you’ve seen your doctor?” and “Is it affecting your ability to walk and drive?”
This might open the door for further discussion in which you both realize it’s affecting your parent’s safety and the long term care might be the solution to avoid potential falls or injuries.
Having the talk
When you decide to have a conversation with your parents about long-term care, be sure to open and honest. Approach your parents with the following in mind:
- Express your love and listen well
- Don’t anticipate how they’ll react
- Be factual and open
- Use “I” statements like “I know this is hard…”
- Allow them to be angry while you remain calm
- Use questions rather than concerns so that you aren’t telling them what to do
- Keep trying if your parents resist your attempts
While it’s hard to talk to your parents about long-term care, it’s important and necessary. More adult parents are prepared to care for their parents emotionally than physically or financially. Make sure your parents are aware of your concerns and feel loved and cared for, rather than attacked. In the Pasadena area and looking for some professional Pasadena in home care? We can help!