elderly mom in need of in home careFor those with older relatives or parents due for in-home care, it can be difficult when they need the care but refuse help. Whether it’s a parent who shouldn’t be driving anymore or someone that doesn’t think assisted living facilities are for them, it makes it extremely difficult for the caring adult to arrange help.

You’re not alone, when it comes to dealing with this challenge. Here are a few steps to take to get your loved one in home care, even if at first they fight it.

Where to begin

Parents or relatives in need of care typically think their adult children wouldn’t understand their fears, what they are feeling and what their physical decline is like. The best thing an adult child can do is try to understand their condition and be as reassuring as possible. This is especially true with a senior in the early stages of a mental health decline, who is struggling to understand their own condition.

Offer options

Probe them to find out why your loved one is refusing help. Sometimes they are scared about the financial cost, worried of having a stranger in their home or fear that they are losing their independence. Hearing their concerns will help you offer options for helping them find the treatment they need.

Let your parents take part in interviews with a caregiver. This will help them understand the caregiver is simply there for accompanying the patient to activities on certain set days of the week. If you find your parent is uncomfortable talking to you, allow them to talk to a professional instead. They can work this out with a social worker, their doctor or even a priest.


Over time, ask open-ended questions to try to get an idea of their needs. This may help with finding out why the patient is refusing help. It will also help you find the right caregiver for their specific needs.

Maybe your mother is concerned about having someone clean her home because she likes it done a certain way. Let your parent know the aide is just there to help with some of the chores. Once a relationship has formed, the caregiver can start helping with more health-related issues. You can even start by having the aide help with doctor’s appointments, before having them start care in the home.

Dealing with a parent refusing care can be difficult, which is why it’s important to remain patient and don’t take it personally. For more information on elderly care, contact Select Home Care today.

Photo by Arcadius